Books by Alfie Kohn

A groundbreaking approach to parenting by nationally-respected educator Alfie Kohn that gives parents ';powerful alternatives to help children become their most caring, responsible selves' (Adele Faber, New York Times bestselling author) by switching the dynamic from doing things to children to working with them in order to understand their needs and how to meet them.Most parenting guides begin with the question ';How can we get kids to do what they're told?' and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking, ';What do kids needand how can we meet those needs?' What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them. One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including ';time-outs'), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from ';doing to' to ';working with' parentingincluding how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.

A prominent and esteemed critic challenges widely held beliefs about children and parenting, revealing that underlying each myth is a deeply conservative ideology that is, ironically, often adopted by liberal parents.Somehow a set of deeply conservative assumptions about children-what they're like and how they should be raised-has congealed into the conventional wisdom in our society. Parents are accused of being both permissive and overprotective, unwilling to set limits and afraid to let their kids fail. Alfie Kohn systematically debunks these beliefs, not only challenging erroneous factual claims but also exposing the troubling ideology that underlies them. Complaints about pushover parents and coddled kids are hardly new, he shows, and there is no evidence that either phenomenon is especially widespread today-let alone more common than in previous generations. Moreover, new research reveals that helicopter parenting is quite rare and, surprisingly, may do more good than harm when it does occur. The major threat to healthy child development, Kohn argues, is parenting that is too controlling rather than too indulgent.With the same lively, contrarian style that marked his influential books about rewards, competition, and education, Kohn relies on a vast collection of social science data, as well as on logic and humor, to challenge assertions that appear with numbing regularity in the popular press and are often accepted uncritically, even by people who are politically liberal. These include claims that young people • suffer from inflated self-esteem • are entitled and narcissistic • receive trophies, praise, and A's too easily • are in need of more self-discipline and "grit" Kohn's invitation to reexamine these and other assumptions is particularly timely; his book has the potential to change our culture's conversation about kids and the people who raise them.

This volume examines what's right with education, advocating schools that support children's innate desire to learn; schools that treat students as individuals, not widgets; and classrooms in which positive values are absorbed rather than drilled.

"Drawing from hundreds of studies in half a dozen fields, The Brighter Side of Human Nature makes a powerful case that caring and generosity are just as natural as selfishness and aggression. This live"