Books by Andrew Wayne Adams

I have no idea why I'm full of tadpoles and mayonnaise. No idea why this cockroach is psychoanalyzing me. I don't know what you're doing with that moose on your shoulder, don't know why you still don't love me even after I bought you that pack of gum. I'm not sure where this elevator is going, or how I got on it. Not sure how I didn't notice the ground beef coming out of every faucet in my new apartment. I have no idea why bagpipes and drums go so well with chainsaw murder. I have no idea what kind of sandwich I want before I commit suicide. I have no idea what I'm doing.Containing thirty-one stories written over the past ten years, this collection chronicles the total inability of Andrew Wayne Adams to know what he is doing.

In a galaxy where everyone is Roman Catholic and sexual fetishes are celebrated on a planetary scale, the fate of all life rests in the hands of one man: Jack-janitor of Planet Anilingus. All Jack wants to do is his job. But his desires quickly change when he meets a weird, sexy woman and the mysterious killer who wants her dead. After being fired and replaced with an idiot, Jack fights to survive in a world of perpetual erections, anal pregnancies, possessed pigs, and competing Gods. It's a battle that will lead him to the heart of his planet, and into history in a mildly disgusting, 2001: A Space Odyssey sort of way.