Books by Mark Leigh

A humorous, illustrated guide to 'new stuff', including vocabulary, for older people.

OMFG! IT'S THE TOTES AWESOME DICTIONARY OF TEEN SLANG!

How to Chat Someone Up at a Funeral is a completely objective and non-judgemental guide to dealing with any number of awkward social situations with your dignity (and sometimes your life) intact.

Advertising. Is it really 'the greatest art form of the twentieth century' (Marshall McLuhan)? Whatever your views, it is undeniably one of the most popular career choices going-and one of the most difficult to get into. If you want to be creative and make money, or simply fancy trying your handat a job in one of the most powerful industries around, then this indispensable guide is all you'll need to get a foot in the door and keep a step ahead of the competition. It's a careers guide with a difference, using the experience and wisdom of some of the industry's top people. You'll find essential advice on how to get started and how to get ahead, as well as the insider's view of the genuine pros and cons of each job, from copywriter to account handler. Your new career starts here.

Herewith a handful of sample entries to tickle your funny bones In the 1824 war between Britain and Ashanti (now part of Ghana), the British Redcoats found themselves surrounded by 10,000 fierce Ashanti warriors, and running very low on ammunition. Their commander ordered Charles Brandon, the army s stores manager, to break open the reserve ammunition he d ordered. As the Ashanti advanced Brandon began to open the ammunition boxes only to find he had brought the wrong supplies. They were all full of biscuits. The grandfather of film star Lana Turner owned a half share in a brand new company that had started bottling a fizzy drink. He thought the drink s name would affect its saleability and wanted to change it without success. In frustration and as a protest he sold his 50%. It s a pity really because Coca-Cola became quite popular Italian Vittoria Luise was out driving during a fierce storm in Naples. A huge gust of wind blew his car into the River Sele. The car began to sink, but the calm motorist managed to break a window and swim to safety. He dragged himself onto the riverbank and it was here that he was hit by a falling tree and killed.The Times of 19 October 1986 carried the story of Emilio Tarra, a crewmember of the 1986 America s Cup race, who was driving from Perth towards Adelaide during the Australian leg of the race. En route, his car sideswiped a kangaroo, leaving it sprawled across the road. Tarra got out of his car and, assuming the kangaroo was dead, decided to take a novelty photograph to show his colleagues. Dressing the kangaroo up in his smart team blazer, he propped it against his car to take its photograph. As he was focusing his camera, the kangaroo, which had only been stunned, woke up and bounded back off into the bush, taking with it the jacket, which contained Tarra s passport, $2,000 worth of cash and his credit cards.

What's wrong with Europe?Ignoring the fact that the EU is a grotesque, officious money sucking totalitarian machine that devours national sovereignty and pukes out unwanted, unwelcome and intrusive legislation, there's a whole variety of other reasons including:Shops that open at 10am and close at 4pm - with a two-hour lunch break in between.Oompah bands.Restaurant staff with the manners of a gibbon and the sense of urgency of a sloth.Parisians.Police forces who are the bastard offspring of the Gestapo and the Stasi.The whole concept of 'ma ana.'National costumes that are as preposterous as they are pointless. Polish spelling.Drivers who view speed limits as targets rather than warnings.Yodelling.Bouzouki music. Street signs that are a homage to small typography rather than an actual guide to your location.Donkey abuse.Women who act under the misguided idea that armpit hair is remotely sexy.The 24hr clock.Using a comma as a decimal point.Father Abraham and the Smurfs.Eurodisco.Eurozone.Eurotrash.Eurovision.Anything else preceded by the word 'Euro' (apart from Euro sceptic).The Cheeky Girls. This is less of a guidebook and more of a warning...