Books by Pam Ayres

The brand new collection of verse from the nation's favourite poet, Pam Ayres. With the same magic that has enchanted her fans for more than four decades, Pam's new collection is by turns hilarious, reflective and profound.

With over fifty new poems from Britain's favourite poet, You Made Me Late Again! and from the search for that perfect swimsuit to becoming a gran for the first time - Pam's poems are beautifully crafted, and her subjects the everyday and the universal. Delightfully illustrated, most of the poems in You Made Me Late Again!

'Maybe the polluters will purify our streams. Purify our waterways? In your bloomin' dreams! All will be rewilded, all will be renewed, The country will look lovely, But we won't have any food. Our stocks will be sustainable, The French will be our friends, We shall live in harmony, until the bitter end.'Hidden beyond the bluebell woods and babbling brooks, there is great unrest in our countryside. In this lyrical satire, Pam Ayres highlights the undercurrents simmering beyond the patchwork of fields. We meet the angry fishermen who can't afford to live in their own villages, the indignant farmers who get the blame for everything and the old man grieving for the unspoilt village of his youth. The animals have their say too, from the persecuted grey squirrel who didn't want to leave America anyway, the barn owl mourning his now-converted ancient barn, and the humble maligned mole, all of whom come together and demand to know: Who Are You Calling Vermin?

A beautiful collection from much-loved poet Pam Ayres, compiling her best verse dedicated to animals, illustrated by Ellie Snowdon.

'Pam Ayres is absolutely essential to British humour' Mail on Sunday 'A national treasure' Daily Express Delighting her fans for more than four decades with her mischievous wit and wry observations, this is a classic collection of poems and monologues from Pam Ayres, which takes us back to where it all began.

The bestselling collection from Britain's best-loved poet and entertainer, Pam Ayres

'NEXT, I APPLIED TO WORK IN THE ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT, a sealed room where women operated clattering machines like enormous typewriters. After I had catastrophically and erroneously applied all the wrong information to several trolley loads of documents and lumbered the staff with weeks of corrective work, I was shown the door by a tight-lipped manageress. I knew what was coming. Over the relentless, furious din of machinery, I lip-read the familiar words: "e;Lacks the necessary aptitude."e;'Pam Ayres' early childhood in Stanford in the Vale was idyllic in many ways, and typical of that experienced by a great swathe of children born in rural areas in the immediate post-war years. Though her parents' generation was harrowed by war, better times were coming. Everything the family needed was within walking distance in the village, and life with four older brothers and a sister in their crowded council house was exceedingly lively.In her late teens, Pam grew dissatisfied with her life as a Civil Service clerk with only the local 'hop' for scintillating excitement. Having seen three of her brothers called up for National Service and sent off to exciting destinations, Pam felt desperate for travel and adventure. She joined the WRAF and soon found herself in the Far East. There she began to write in earnest, and develop the unique talent that would make her one of Britain's favourite comics... Written with Pam's much-loved combination of humour and poignancy, The Necessary Aptitude is a beautifully written memoir of her early years.

Warm and witty, direct and droll, the sharply funny Pam Ayres has been amusing and entertaining her many fans for more than 30 years since her first television appearance on Opportunity Knocks.