Books by Peter Goulding

A look at the season of Christmas and winter through the medium of light verse, 'The Arse End of the Year' chronicles the build up to the festive season, the solstice, the day itself and the post-Christmas slothfulness, together with aspects of the cold and dreary winter season so beloved by, well, not many people actually. From the reindeer shaped blips on the air traffic controllers' screen, to the disappearing cheese portions; from forgetting auld acquaintance to the difficulty of burying dead bodies in frosty weather, Peter Goulding gives us a uniquely personal insight into the season in his inimitable style, not that many people would want to imitate it.

Peter Goulding's fourth, or maybe fifth, (who's counting?) book of comic verse again delves the murky depths of the poet's imagination. There are still plenty of poems about murdering his wife and disposing of her body but there are darker poems too - the proliferation of tomatoes on Jupiter, the birth of Princess Charlotte and his critiques of the counties of Tipperary and Offaly, to name but four. His mind, which, to be frank, would be put to much better use, learning a trade or simply vegetating, is again employed solving many of the world's problems in rhyming couplets, villanelles and other fiendish weapons of mass destruction. Comes with a cultural health warning.

In the Waterways Department of the Irish Government, an employee discovers that his last four Hobnobs have been stolen. At approximately the same time, twenty miles away, twenty three packets of Rich Tea biscuits have been lifted from a supermarket in Ashbourne. This is unprecedented in Irish and, indeed, world history. Chief Inspector Jacobs, who had helped to solve the infamous Chocolate Digestive theft of 1994, is summoned to solve the crime before the social order crumbles. Can Jacobs wrap up the case and drag Ireland back from the brink of anarchy? How do they get the figs into the fig rolls? And what is the lighthouse thing about? The Island of Broken Biscuits is a comic novel set over five days. It holds the World Record for mentions of Custard Creams (55) and has been rejected by many, many publishers.

Peter Goulding's third comic verse anthology contains 128 poems that highlight his oblique view of the world around him. Many of the poems stray into the area of black humour but all contain examples of his masterly command of rhyme and rhythm.

It is a very rare publication that features an author who has absolutely no knowledge of the subject about which he is writing. From his safe suburban armchair in Dublin, Ireland, Peter Goulding has watched countless westerns featuring square-jawed heroes who have battled impossible odds to defeat injuns, outlaws and stampeding cattle. Based on these films and to the abject horror of the literary community, he has written numerous poems of questionable merit about life in the wild west (and indeed in the wild, wild west) and has decided to publish them in this slim volume. From botched gunfights to piles, from eating horses to losing children, this book of vaguely comic vignettes describes a side to the wild west (and indeed the wild, wild west) that probably never existed outside of the author's head.