Books by Spike Milligan

Spike Milligan's letters contain some of the best material he ever wrote . . . Collected here for the first time are the funniest, rudest and most revealing of them - most of which have never been seen before - from one of the greatest comics of the twentieth century to some of its most famous politicians, actors, celebrities and rock stars (as well as a host of unlikely individuals on some surprising subjects):- rounded teabags ('what did you do with the corners?')- backless hospital gowns ('beyond my comprehension') - heartfelt apologies ('pardon me for being alive') and the imbalance of male and female ducks in London's parks. Here, then, is the real Spike Miligan: obsessive, rude, generous and relentlessly witty.'Milligan's zaniness shines through' Telegraph 'The godfather of alternative comedy' Eddie IzzardSpike Milligan was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Born in India in 1918, he served in the Royal Artillery during WWII in North Africa and Italy. At the end of the war, he forged a career as a jazz musician, sketch-show writer and performer, before joining forces with Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe to form the legendary Goon Show. Until his death in 2002, he had success as on stage and screen and as the author of over eighty books of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays, cartoons and children's stories.

Spike Milligan's legendary war memoirs are a hilarious and subversive first-hand account of the Second World War, as well as a fascinating portrait of the formative years of this towering comic genius, most famous as writer and star of The Goon Show. They have sold over 4.5 million copies since they first appeared.'The most irreverent, hilarious book about the war that I have ever read' Sunday Express'Brilliant verbal pyrotechnics, throwaway lines and marvelous anecdotes' Daily Mail'Desperately funny, vivid, vulgar' Sunday Times'My namer is Maria Antonoinetta Fontana, but everyone call me Toni.' 'I'm Spike, sometimes known as stop thief or hey you.' 'Yeser, I know.' The sixth volume of Spike Milligan's off-the-wall account of his part in World War Two sees our hero doing very little soldiering. Because it's 1946. Rather, he is now part of the Bill Hall Trio - a 'Combined Services Entertainment' inflicted on unsuspecting soldiers across Italy and Austria - and is largely preoccupied with the unbearably beautiful ballerina, Ms Toni Fontana ('Arghhhhhhhhh!). But he must enjoy it while he can before he is demobbed and sent home to Catford - so he does ...'That absolutely glorious way of looking at things differently. A great man' Stephen Fry'Milligan is the Great God to all of us' John Cleese'The Godfather of Alternative Comedy' Eddie Izzard'Manifestly a genius, a comic surrealist genius and had no equal' Terry Wogan'A totally original comedy writer' Michael Palin'Close in stature to Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear in his command of the profound art of nonsense' GuardianSpike Milligan was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Born in India in 1918, he served in the Royal Artillery during WWII in North Africa and Italy. At the end of the war, he forged a career as a jazz musician, sketch-show writer and performer, before joining forces with Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe to form the legendary Goon Show. Until his death in 2002, he had success as on stage and screen and as the author of over eighty books of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays, cartoons and children's stories.

Spike Milligan's legendary war memoirs are a hilarious and subversive first-hand account of the Second World War, as well as a fascinating portrait of the formative years of this towering comic genius, most famous as writer and star of The Goon Show. They have sold over 4.5 million copies since they first appeared.'The most irreverent, hilarious book about the war that I have ever read' Sunday Express'Brilliant verbal pyrotechnics, throwaway lines and marvelous anecdotes' Daily Mail'Desperately funny, vivid, vulgar' Sunday TimesA voice is calling across the land, 'Bombardier Milligan.' 'Bombadier Milligan is dead,' I replied in a disguised voice. The voice replied, 'Then he's going to miss his breakfast.'The fourth volume of Spike Milligan's legendary account of his time in the army during World War Two begins as he and his regiment land in sunny Italy in 1943 ('The ship touched the beach very gently, so gently I suspect it's not insured'). After a bout of Sandfly Fever, from which he soon recovers ('I'm ready to be killed again'), our plucky hero is piddled on by a farm dog ('Mussolini's revenge?') before forging his way inland towards the enemy and the sound of guns ('We're getting near civilisation'), where matters suddenly take a dark turn ('I was not really me any more') ...'That absolutely glorious way of looking at things differently. A great man' Stephen Fry'Milligan is the Great God to all of us' John Cleese'The Godfather of Alternative Comedy' Eddie Izzard'Manifestly a genius, a comic surrealist genius and had no equal' Terry Wogan'A totally original comedy writer' Michael Palin'Close in stature to Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear in his command of the profound art of nonsense' GuardianSpike Milligan was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Born in India in 1918, he served in the Royal Artillery during WWII in North Africa and Italy. At the end of the war, he forged a career as a jazz musician, sketch-show writer and performer, before joining forces with Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe to form the legendary Goon Show. Until his death in 2002, he had success as on stage and screen and as the author of over eighty books of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays, cartoons and children's stories.

Spike Milligan's legendary war memoirs are a hilarious and subversive first-hand account of the Second World War, as well as a fascinating portrait of the formative years of this towering comic genius, most famous as writer and star of The Goon Show. They have sold over 4.5 million copies since they first appeared.'The most irreverent, hilarious book about the war that I have ever read' Sunday Express'Brilliant verbal pyrotechnics, throwaway lines and marvelous anecdotes' Daily Mail'Desperately funny, vivid, vulgar' Sunday Times'At Victoria station the R.T.O. gave me a travel warrant, a white feather and a picture of Hitler marked "e;This is your enemy"e;. I searched every compartment, but he wasn't on the train...'In this, the first of Spike Milligan's uproarious recollections of life in the army, our hero takes us from the outbreak of war in 1939 ('it must have been something we said'), through his attempts to avoid enlistment ('time for my appendicitis, I thought') and his gunner training in Bexhill ('There was one drawback. No ammunition') to the landing at Algiers in 1943 ('I closed my eyes and faced the sun. I fell down a hatchway'). Filled with bathos, pathos and gales of ribald laughter, this is a barely sane helping of military goonery and superlative Milliganese.'That absolutely glorious way of looking at things differently. A great man' Stephen Fry'Milligan is the Great God to all of us' John Cleese'The Godfather of Alternative Comedy' Eddie Izzard'Manifestly a genius, a comic surrealist genius and had no equal' Terry Wogan'A totally original comedy writer' Michael Palin'Close in stature to Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear in his command of the profound art of nonsense' GuardianSpike Milligan was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Born in India in 1918, he served in the Royal Artillery during WWII in North Africa and Italy. At the end of the war, he forged a career as a jazz musician, sketch-show writer and performer, before joining forces with Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe to form the legendary Goon Show. Until his death in 2002, he had success as on stage and screen and as the author of over eighty books of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays, cartoons and children's stories.

This tribute to one of the world's greatest ever entertainers is a must for all Milligan fans.The combination of quickfire wit and downright silliness is supported by contributions from some of showbusiness' greatest entertainers, including Barry Humphreys and Ronnie Scott.

Puckoon is Spike Milligan's classic slapstick novel, reissued for the first time since it was published in 1963.'Pops with the erratic brilliance of a careless match in a box of fireworks' Daily MailIn 1924 the Boundary Commission is tasked with creating the new official division between Northern Ireland and the Irish Republic. Through incompetence, dereliction of duty and sheer perversity, the border ends up running through the middle of the small town of Puckoon.Houses are divided from outhouses, husbands separated from wives, bars are cut off from their patrons, churches sundered from graveyards. And in the middle of it all is poor Dan Milligan, our feckless protagonist, who is taunted and manipulated by everyone (including the sadistic author) to try and make some sense of this mess . . .'Bursts at the seams with superb comic characters involved in unbelievably likely troubles on the Irish border' Observer'Our first comic philosopher' Eddie IzzardSpike Milligan was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Born in India in 1918, he served in the Royal Artillery during WWII in North Africa and Italy. At the end of the war, he forged a career as a jazz musician, sketch-show writer and performer, before joining forces with Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe to form the legendary Goon Show. Until his death in 2002, he had success as on stage and screen and as the author of over eighty books of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays, cartoons and children's stories.

Spike Milligan, Harry Secombe and Peter Sellers star in ten classic episodes of The Goon Show, plus a host of bonus features.

Featuring illustrations, this collection includes the famous On the Ning Nang Nong.

Spike Milligan's legendary war memoirs are a hilarious and subversive first-hand account of the Second World War, as well as a fascinating portrait of the formative years of this towering comic genius, most famous as writer and star of The Goon Show. They have sold over 4.5 million copies since they first appeared.'The most irreverent, hilarious book about the war that I have ever read' Sunday Express'Brilliant verbal pyrotechnics, throwaway lines and marvelous anecdotes' Daily Mail'Desperately funny, vivid, vulgar' Sunday Times'I had not informed my parents of my return, I wanted it to be a lovely surprise; it was, for me, they were away ...' The seventh and last volume of Spike Milligan's memoirs sees our hero returning from war and Italy ... but to what? Aside from shooting large, inaccurate guns at Germans, all he has done for five long years is blow a trumpet, tell rude jokes and write and perform sketches for the entertainment of bored and murderous soldiers - who on earth is going to pay a civilian to do more of that? From the giddy heights of Hackney Empire to a Zurich Freak Show and beyond, Spike makes his way through the backwaters of showbiz, first as band musician then as one-man wild-act and eventually in the company of a group of like-minded comedians called Harry Secombe, Michael Bentine and Peter Sellers. They decide to call themselves The Goons...'That absolutely glorious way of looking at things differently. A great man' Stephen Fry'Milligan is the Great God to all of us' John Cleese'The Godfather of Alternative Comedy' Eddie Izzard'Manifestly a genius, a comic surrealist genius and had no equal' Terry Wogan'A totally original comedy writer' Michael Palin'Close in stature to Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear in his command of the profound art of nonsense' GuardianSpike Milligan was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Born in India in 1918, he served in the Royal Artillery during WWII in North Africa and Italy. At the end of the war, he forged a career as a jazz musician, sketch-show writer and performer, before joining forces with Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe to form the legendary Goon Show. Until his death in 2002, he had success as on stage and screen and as the author of over eighty books of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays, cartoons and children's stories.

Spike Milligan's legendary war memoirs are a hilarious and subversive first-hand account of the Second World War, as well as a fascinating portrait of the formative years of this towering comic genius, most famous as writer and star of The Goon Show. They have sold over 4.5 million copies since they first appeared.'The most irreverent, hilarious book about the war that I have ever read' Sunday Express'Brilliant verbal pyrotechnics, throwaway lines and marvelous anecdotes' Daily Mail'Desperately funny, vivid, vulgar' Sunday TimesBack to those haunting days in Italy in 1944, at the foot of Mount Vesuvius, with lava running in great red rivulets down the slope towards us, and Jock taking a drag on his cigarette and saying, 'I think we've got grounds for a rent rebate.' The fifth volume of Spike Milligan's unsurpassed account of life as a Bombardier in World War Two sees our hero dispatched from the front line to psychiatric hospital and from there to a rehabilitation camp. Considered loony (and 'unfit to be killed in combat by either side'), he becomes embroiled in his own private battle with melancholy. But it is music, wit and a little help from his friends - including one Gunner Harry Secombe - that help carry him through to his first stage appearances ...'That absolutely glorious way of looking at things differently. A great man' Stephen Fry'Milligan is the Great God to all of us' John Cleese'The Godfather of Alternative Comedy' Eddie Izzard'Manifestly a genius, a comic surrealist genius and had no equal' Terry Wogan'A totally original comedy writer' Michael Palin'Close in stature to Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear in his command of the profound art of nonsense' GuardianSpike Milligan was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Born in India in 1918, he served in the Royal Artillery during WWII in North Africa and Italy. At the end of the war, he forged a career as a jazz musician, sketch-show writer and performer, before joining forces with Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe to form the legendary Goon Show. Until his death in 2002, he had success as on stage and screen and as the author of over eighty books of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays, cartoons and children's stories.

Spike Milligan's legendary war memoirs are a hilarious and subversive first-hand account of the Second World War, as well as a fascinating portrait of the formative years of this towering comic genius, most famous as writer and star of The Goon Show. They have sold over 4.5 million copies since they first appeared.'The most irreverent, hilarious book about the war that I have ever read' Sunday Express'Brilliant verbal pyrotechnics, throwaway lines and marvelous anecdotes' Daily Mail'Desperately funny, vivid, vulgar' Sunday Times'Keep talking, Milligan. I think I can get you out on Mental Grounds.' 'That's how I got in, sir.' 'Didn't we all.'The second volume of Spike Milligan's legendary recollections of life as a gunner in World War Two sees our hero into battle in North Africa - eventually. First, there is important preparation to be done: extensive periods of loitering ('We had been standing by vehicles for an hour and nothing had happened, but it happened frequently'), psychological toughening ('If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it') and living dangerously ('no underwear!'). At last the battle for Tunis is upon them...'That absolutely glorious way of looking at things differently. A great man' Stephen Fry'Milligan is the Great God to all of us' John Cleese'The Godfather of Alternative Comedy' Eddie Izzard'Manifestly a genius, a comic surrealist genius and had no equal' Terry Wogan'A totally original comedy writer' Michael Palin'Close in stature to Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear in his command of the profound art of nonsense' GuardianSpike Milligan was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Born in India in 1918, he served in the Royal Artillery during WWII in North Africa and Italy. At the end of the war, he forged a career as a jazz musician, sketch-show writer and performer, before joining forces with Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe to form the legendary Goon Show. Until his death in 2002, he had success as on stage and screen and as the author of over eighty books of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays, cartoons and children's stories.

With his lightning-quick wit, unbridled creativity and his ear for the absurd, Milligan revolutionised British comedy, leaving a legacy of influence that stretches from Monty Python's Flying Circus to the work of self-confessed acolytes such as Eddie Izzard and Stephen Fry today.Throughout his life, Milligan wrote prolifically - scripts, poetry, fiction, as well as several volumes of memoir, in which he took an entirely idiosyncratic approach to the truth. In this ground-breaking work, Norma Farnes, his long-time manager, companion, counsellor and confidante, gathers together the loose threads, reads between the lines and draws on the full breadth of his writing to present his life in his own words: an autobiography - of sorts.From his childhood in India, through his early career as a jazz musician and sketch-show entertainer, his spells in North Africa and Italy with the Royal Artillery, to that fateful first broadcast of The Goon Show and beyond into the annals of comedy history, this is the autobiography Milligan never wrote.

The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler of Bexhill-on-Sea: No fewer than 38 Batter Puddings have been hurled at Minnie Bannister, the world famous poker player. (Give her a good poker and she'll play any tune you like.) A madman is at large so it's time to call in Scotland Yard! The Histories of Pliny the Elder: The mighty Julius Caesar has invaded Ancient Briton, only to be greeted by none other than Eccles. Undeterred, Caesar and the might of the Roman army prepare for battle, while the Britons prepare for a game of football. However, Caracticus Seagoon will never surrender to Rome - he will fight them up the hill and down Mrs Dale. Vintage Beeb: classic albums first available as BBC LPs, now on CD and download for the first time ever.

In this last of Spike's hilarious reinterpretations of the classic works of litarature, all the familiar faces of Robert Louis Stevenson's original version appear: Squire Trelawney, Jim Hawkins and Long John Silver. Rude and irreverent as ever, Spike's rendering of this classic tale is as chock-full of gems as Cap'n Flint's treasure chest.

Spike did not regard children as small grown-ups, but as an entirely different species who live in a secret, magical world which very few adults understand. His poems were inspired by listening to his own children, and subsequently his grandchildren. This is an anthology of Spike's poems and stories for children.

This collection brings together the most beloved children's poems. Poems such as "The Owl and the Pussycat" to "Us Two" and "Chocolate Cake" should amuse and delight children and adults alike. The collection includes the modern and the classics, from A.A. Milne to Pam Ayres.

'Spike Milligan wrote the book on today's sense of humour''But why keep me in the dark, Holmes?''It saves electicity, Watson.''What is a black spot?

This version of Robin Hood has Robin and his merry men when the King's deer manage to evade their arrows, dining out at McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and eating jam sandwiches, Nevertheless, they are still more than willing to do battle with Robin's arch enemy Sir Guy de Custard Gisborne.

When Murphy wakes up one morning with the thickest of hangovers, the last thing he needs is to be whacked over the head with a frying pan by his wife. While he's knocked senseless, his mind trawls back through his misadventures in every area of his squandered life.

A collection of tender(ish) moments. It consists of three individual volumes now collected together ("Small Dreams Of A Scorpion", "Open Heart University" and "The Mirror Running") as well as a number of previously unpublished poems.

I never felt more like kicking so I kicked him in the goolies and they swelled up like melons. He had to put the harness on me while balancing his balls with one hand and could only move very slowly. In time I got used to everything (and he got used to swollen balls) and I could do my work as well as my mother. I used to wash up after dinner.

Penguin presents the unabridged, downloadable, audiobook edition of The Bible According to Spike Milligan, written and read by Spike Milligan. The Old Testament: but more mad, more merry, more... Milligan! And God said, Let there be light; and there was light, but Eastern Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. There have been many interpretations of the Old Testament over the centuries but never one quite like this. Spike Milligan has rewritten, in his own inimitable style, many of the best-known stories of the Old Testament, featuring characters like King my brain hurts Solomon, the great oaf of a giant Goliath and the lesser-known crossword clue, Hushai the Archite. Believers and non-believers alike will enjoy this hilarious re-working, where the jokes, jests and jibes tumble over each other from Chapter One, Verse One until kingdom come.

Adolf Hitler, Monty, Mussolini, Rommel (who?) - all played their modest parts in the Second World War and the shaping of human destiny, but we all know where the real action was... The most scurrilous, bizarre and certainly the most hilarious military career embarked upon by any bombardier of the 56th heavy regiment, royal artillery, ever.

Spike Milligan's legendary war memoirs are a hilarious and subversive first-hand account of the Second World War, as well as a fascinating portrait of the formative years of this towering comic genius, most famous as writer and star of The Goon Show. They have sold over 4.5 million copies since they first appeared.'The most irreverent, hilarious book about the war that I have ever read' Sunday Express'Brilliant verbal pyrotechnics, throwaway lines and marvelous anecdotes' Daily Mail'Desperately funny, vivid, vulgar' Sunday Times'It's all over, Von Arnheim has surrendered and he's very angry.' 'This could mean war...'The third volume of Spike Milligan's laugh-a-line account of life as a gunner in World War Two resumes on the eve of victory in North Africa. Now Britain's looniest war hero must combat some of the direst threats a soldier has ever faced - boredom ('Christ, I just thought of Catford'), a cold ('In this weather?' 'Yed.'), moving camp ('It's a sort of Brighton with camels'), relaxing on the beach ('Life was golden, and we were the assayers'), moving camp again ('We're already somewhere else'), a visit to Carthage ('It's terrible, it's like Catford') and a perilous encounter with the gloriously endowed Mademoiselle Villion ('"e;Help! massage,"e; I said weakly'). Against the odds, they survive and are sent at last to Italy to be killed...'That absolutely glorious way of looking at things differently. A great man' Stephen Fry'Milligan is the Great God to all of us' John Cleese'The Godfather of Alternative Comedy' Eddie Izzard'Manifestly a genius, a comic surrealist genius and had no equal' Terry Wogan'A totally original comedy writer' Michael Palin'Close in stature to Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear in his command of the profound art of nonsense' GuardianSpike Milligan was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Born in India in 1918, he served in the Royal Artillery during WWII in North Africa and Italy. At the end of the war, he forged a career as a jazz musician, sketch-show writer and performer, before joining forces with Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe to form the legendary Goon Show. Until his death in 2002, he had success as on stage and screen and as the author of over eighty books of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays, cartoons and children's stories.