Books by Wally Payne

Any thoughts that retirement from the Army might bring about a more sedentary life-style were soon scotched, when offers of employment, occasionally of a hazardous nature, came to fruition in the Philippines, Hong Kong, Thailand, Mozambique, Algeria, Mali, China and the UK. Some of the locations were hardly the kind of places one would select to take grandmother for afternoon tea. Of persons he perceives to be fools, the author retains an intolerance that stubbornly refuses to abate and his ability to fall out, even with his own shadow, remains undiminished. For all his warts, blemishes, fiery temper and confrontational manner, especially when faced by selfishness, stupidity or corruption, the author remains a painfully honest individual, albeit one cursed with particularly itchy feet.

Having been required to resign from the Leicester City Constabulary for the heinous crime of 'gross impertinence to a member of the public', the author crossed the road to the Army Recruiting Office and enlisted into the Royal Military Police. It was a decision that, despite the odd knock back, he was never to regret.The volumes recount the adventures, mishaps, misdeeds and observations of a character of some notoriety, charting his journey from the NAAFI canteen to the Officer's Mess via Germany, the UK, Malta, Cyprus, Northern Ireland and the Far East. The tongue in cheek tales are told in a ribald, sometimes bawdy, occasionally cruel and unfailingly irreverent fashion that befit a person with a chip on both shoulders. Described by one officer as 'arrogant, selfish, self-centred and pig headed', he never discovered any reason to change.