Books in the Cross-Cultural Marriage series

Bringing Worlds Together is not only a book for married couples but its also a useful read for those considering marriage. As the first book in the Cross-cultural Marriage Series, Bringing Worlds Together lays the foundation of how culture is one of the root causes of marital conflict. Culture might not be obvious because it is so deeply engrained in everyone. Culture creates a filter which influences how we see things, how we communicate and how we listen to our husband of wife.We often dismiss the ';small' issues and don't realise what we are dealing with is actually a culture clash. That's because we usually have preconceived ideas regarding what a cross-cultural marriage is. When some hear the term cross-cultural relationship, they imagine a couple who come from different continents, others will imagine a couple who each speak a different mother tongue, some will think of couples who have come from two different religious backgrounds and others will think of a couple from two different ethnic backgrounds. You will undoubtedly have your own idea of what defines a cross-cultural marriage. You may be surprised though to find that it is much more than you first thought! In fact, all relationships are to some degree cross-cultural simply because no two families are the same!So why is culture such a big deal? A little research reveals that culture goes to the depths of what defines a person. Culture infiltrates our interactions on almost every subject and approach to life. It's a ';big deal' because it is integral to how we live life and how we do relationships. Culture can't just be ignored!It is safe to say that culture, which permeates through so many aspects of our lives, will undoubtedly have an impact on marriage. You may not have realised that some of the issues you are facing are cultural. Step back and for a moment take a second look at the things you have been squabbling about. Why is it that you feel so strongly? Is it really a clean cut issue? Why is it that you feel your spouse is wrong, and your way is the only way to do something? It is certainly possible that it all boils down to cultural differences. The greater the cross-cultural differences in a relationship, the greater the need for learning about each other's cultures and understanding each other's backgrounds. If you take the time to figure out why your spouse thinks the way they do, it can transform your marriage.As Roy and I have worked with couples over the last few decades, we have been able to share some principles which helped us in our cross-cultural relationship. It became apparent that many couples were struggling with the type of issues we had encountered and were muddling through trying to find solutions. That caused us to think about why we should all muddle through, surely we could learn from one another! That thought was the beginning of a process which resulted in this book. We have drawn on the experience of others to discover some of the difficulties that greater cross-cultural contrasts bring to the table.';Bringing Worlds Together' is designed to bridge two worlds whether the couple is from opposite ends of the earth or if they grew up on the same street. Blending two cultures together might be challenging, but it's not impossible when God's culture replaces your own.

Adjusting Expectations explores the world of expectations within marriage and what happens when they aren't met. Albert Einstein has been accredited with saying, "Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they won't change. Inevitably both will be disappointed." He encapsulated a very real truth in marriage in a few short sentences. Disappointments are inevitable, but most people focus on the object of their frustration rather than figuring out if their expectations were, in fact, realistic. Many marriages are struggling under the weight of unrealistic expectations, and the hope of happiness is eluded because it has been pinned on a performance based relationship. Adjusting Expectations changes that focus and allows you to put your expectations under the microscope.Expectations are influenced by many different things, your culture, your formative years and the attitudes of your friends and family. You will have the opportunity to think about the expectations you had about marriage and of your spouse. You might be surprised by what you learn about yourself as well as your partner! Armed with that information it's easier to see which assumptions were unhealthy, and which presumptions were unfounded. There is so much freedom to be gained from releasing your spouse from the unhealthy pressure of living up to your unrealistic measure of success.We'll explore the world of expectations in love, romance and intimacy in marriage and you'll start to understand more about where those expectations came from and which ones need tweaked.Perhaps, most importantly, we explore what God expects from couples and what marriage was designed to be.