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Terry Pratchett meets Dr Who ... sort of.As recently appointed delivery man for Big Merv, one of Ning Dang Po''s most powerful crime bosses, The Pan of Hamgee is ordered to deliver a gift to Big Merv''s current girlfriend. With a pair of bespoke sapphire and diamond earrings on board, and a trip across the city in the offing, what could possibly go wrong? Everything. Humorous science fiction fantasy action adventure set in a parallel reality. This ia a typical British comedy novella (just over 20,000 words). This story is written and spelled in British English. Estimated UK cinema rating PG.INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHORQ - So, tell us about the this series. What made you write it? What makes it special?A - There''s a saying, somewhere, that if the book you want to read hasn''t been written, you must write it. If you want the honest answer I wrote it for me.As a reader, I love British satire and humor or humour. I love funny; funny epic fantasy novels like Terry Pratchett''s Discworld and comedic sci fi like Douglas Adams. But I also like a gripping tale that zips along quickly in the time honoured tradition of adventure and action fiction. And of course, I like genre fiction mashups; Douglas Adams meets StarTrek, Doctor Who, Terry Pratchett and James Bond. I wanted fantasy that was also science fiction. I wanted crazy weird alien races, but I wanted to make them up myself. I wanted a fast paced story, a gripping tale but also comedy in the tradition of all the great funny British authors.You won''t find standard mythic creatures in my sci fi - I couldn''t face the deluge of emails I''d inevitably get from those who knew more about them than I do, telling me I''d got them wrong. However, you will find all sorts of quirky misfit characters and interesting alien species. From six feet Swamp Things with antennae to cute furry creatures like the Blurpons, with their fluffy ears, big button eyes and penchant for extreme violence.Q - What will readers enjoy most about this series?A - Hopefully, the same things as I do: the world building, the characterisation, what, I hope, is pithy witty dialogue (or dialog) and of course, crazy characters who are flawed and stuff up, and are not beautiful. There''s not one skinny woman in a leather jumpsuit anywhere in this series. I like writing characters who have zero combat skills, putting them in a situation where they could really do with knowing how to fight and seeing how they cope - I''m mean like that. Oh and of course the snurds. You''ve gotta love a flying car, right?Q - What is your favourite kind of Book? Would K''Barthan Shorts fit on the list?A - Oh yes. I wrote them entirely for me. If anyone else likes them, that''s gravy. I love British humour, and parody in sci fi and fantasy: people like Pratchett and Adams. There''s so much texture and depth in their books. I think if you''re funny you can be harder hitting and setting it all in a parallel reality with made up species of creatures also helps.Q - Do you have a target reader?A - Not really. I wrote it with my nephew in mind - he was a teenager at the time - but it''s more a mind set and an approach to life that I''m reaching out to. To give you an idea; the oldest fan of my books whom I knew about was in his 90s - sadly, he''s died now - and the youngest is 10.
If you asked Andi Turbot whether she had anything in common with Flash Gordon she'd say no, emphatically. Saving the world is for dynamic, go-ahead, leaders of men and while it would be nice to see a woman getting involved for a change, she believes she could be the least well-equipped being in her galaxy for the job.Then her best friend, Eric, reveals that he is an extraterrestrial. He's not just any ET either. He's Gamalian: seven-foot, lobster-shaped and covered in Marmite-scented goo. Just when Andi's getting used to that he tells her about the Apocalypse and really ruins her day.The human race will perish unless Eric's Gamalian superiors step in. Abducted and trapped on an alien ship, Andi must convince the Gamalians her world is worth saving. Or escape from their clutches and save it herself.
The Pan of Hamgee needs answers, although he's not even sure he knows the questions.He has a chance to go straight but it's been so long that he's almost forgotten how. Despite a death warrant over his head he is released, given a state-sponsored business, and a year's amnesty for all misdemeanours while he adjusts. On the down side, Ruth has thrown in her lot with his nemesis, Lord Vernon.The Pan doesn't have a year, either. In only five days Lord Vernon will gain total power and destroy K'Barth. Unless The Pan can stop him. Because even though the Candidate, the person prophesied to save K'Barth, has finally appeared it's still going to be down to The Pan to make things right. But he has no clue where to start or whether he even can.The future hangs by a thread and the only person who can fix it is The Pan: a man without a plan.
The Pan of Hamgee doesn’t believe in miracles but if he’s going to save K’Barth it looks as if he might need one.He's not quite as alone as he thought. The punters from The Parrot and Screwdriver are right behind him and he has rescued three of his friends from the Grongolian Security Forces, who are now of course, three of the nation's most wanted, which doesn't make life easy. He even has something of a plan for once. It involves making peace with the Resistance, trying to resurrect the Underground movement, and toppling Lord Vernon.Now, The Pan just needs to keep his head down and maintain a low profile. He must be brave and clever and stay in control. That's going to be a first. But the hardest part will be staying alive long enough to put his plan into action.This story is written in British English and contains some light swearing. Suggested rating, a UK PG.
The Pan of Hamgee is not a natural knight in shining armour. Yet he has escaped from police custody in K’Barth, switched realities and foiled Lord Vernon’s attempt to kidnap Ruth, the Chosen One, from the Festival Hall. Pretty good, he thinks.However, Ruth thinks otherwise. Being pursued by Lord Vernon is bad enough. Now, thanks to The Pan, she’s on the run. They are both alive, of course, but with Lord Vernon on their tail neither of them can be sure how long for.To save K'Barth and Ruth, the woman of his dreams, The Pan must introduce her to the Candidate, who is prophesied to be the man of her dreams. And he must do it fast – before Lord Vernon finds her. But the gentleman in question is in hiding and no-one knows where. Only The Pan can find him, if he can bring himself to unite them.
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