Business or Pleasure

Trying to balance business and pleasure in my life is hard to do. Usually, it''s all about business. I will say I have found happiness in my work on the ranch by helping others and working with animals. Having grown up on the ranch, I have found peace, but just not enough. Have you ever had times in your life that have gone all wrong? Well, I am on that crazy roller coaster that never stops. Drama happens when I least expect it and often. Through all the drama I have had, I have been hard on myself. There might not be a light at the end of the tunnel, but you can always hope. All the bad drama has taught me what do to and what not to do.
Pleasure in the form of men is nonexistent. I always question myself when it comes to men. Do I need to go on a date? I answer myself by saying I need to get out, but then I''m like, no, they won''t like the way I look. They won''t like how hard I work, and if they don''t mind all of this, then they are just as busy as I am, and we would barely see each other. In my heart, I want a cowboy that loves the ranch and we can raise a family and sit on the porch looking over the beautiful ranch my family has built. What will my destiny be? Will a man show up to help with the business and will I find love or just move on? Will there be any more pleasure in my life? I hope whoever comes into my life doesn''t throw up on roller coasters.