Diamonds are for Heather

Life is already difficult for a sixteen year old boy who is at least a lap behind his peers in the 1500 metre event at the Growing Up Olympics. But when his beloved Grandfather passes away, leaving a cryptic clue to the whereabouts of untold riches, the resultant road trip will increase the pace.

Escaping the clutches of an over-protective mother, sexually deprived employer and a furious Asian funeral director, Felix Malholly makes his getaway. What follows is a journey involving diamond theft, grave robbery, surfing, terrifying pensioners, stand-up comedy, torture with a chain-saw and a whole lot of fun in between.

If it happened to you, how rich would you feel?