My Above Average Colon

If 50 is the new 30, then why does January Ornellas need duct tape for a DIY neck lift? Why is she being mistaken for a volunteer at her first triathlon? And why is the gym sending her hate mail? Ornellas shares her unique brand of humor in this debut collection of short stories. Whether she's being held hostage at a timeshare presentation, eating an excessive amount of cookie batter, or stalking the neighborhood kid who stole her exercise ball, Ornellas' sharp wit and raw vulnerability will have you laughing out loud as she takes you on a hilarious and relatable ride through her midlife adventures.