The Existentialist Craves Nonbeing

The Existentialist Craves Nonbeing is volume three of the series On Being.
On Being is an astrological, metaphysical, self-referential, self-psychoanalytic case history, narrated in first person by the protagonist Ana, who is the real life author J. Guzman. On Being is the evolution of J. Guzman's consciousness throughout Time, and it is meant to aid in astrological research and study (and those of other disciplines like psychology and philosophy). A detailed explanation of what this entails can be found on her website https://jguzman.space/. On Being is open-ended, in that it will continue until the death of J. Guzman.
On Being is not a series about how to use astrology correctly. It does not directly explain or outline its concepts, theories, or symbols. Rather, it is the raw data in the form of archived diary entries that an astrologer can use to apply practically astrology's techniques for investigative and teaching purposes. If you have Ana's birth information and her compiled life history including dates, times, and locations, you can see how the astrology works systematically in the background. Ana discovers astrology in book nine, and comes to use it to aid her self-psychoanalysis.
In volume three, The Existentialist Craves Nonbeing, Ana's college soccer career finally falls apart as she hits an extreme low point regarding her mental health. She struggles to deal with her coach's emotionally abusive behavior, and lives in a constant state of depression, despair, anxiety, and fear, about what to do with her life and what the purpose of it all is.