This might sound crazy, but . . .

"This might sound crazy, but . . ." is a first-person narrative of my bipolar I mania-induced psychotic episode during the fall of 2019. I was severely debilitated by my illness for a 6 week period, yet soon after, I was able to remember and recount much of my experiences. At heart, this is a persevering hero's journey of an empirical scientist who is thrown into the depths of religious, science fiction, and bizarre delusions. It is written largely in first-person present tense to offer the reader immediacy and immersion into the experience of this devastating mental illness. While it is my first-hand account, I am adamant that it is truly the first-hand account of my sick mind during that period. In this case, I hope to shed light on the experience of a psychotic episode to bridge a divide between the healthy population and those struck by this mental affliction. I feel that my book is important because of its subject matter, its uniqueness, and its potential to influence the field of psychiatry. Mental illness is a topic that affects each of us, either directly or indirectly. In this case, roughly 1-2% of the general population has bipolar disorder. Moreover, up to 3% of us will experience psychosis within our lifetime. These may seem like only small subsets, yet this group of afflictions indeed has a wide reach that can affect entire families and communities. While there are several important academic publications on the topic of psychosis, these are largely texts meant for medical training in a clinical setting. In addition, there are nonacademic books written as memoirs of turmoil surrounding mental illness. Yet, few have been written from the first-person present tense that describe a single severe psychotic episode in immediate detail. My goal with this book is to show my audience what it was like to experience psychosis, first-hand. Specifically, I convey what I was thinking and how it felt to be consumed by this cruel ailment. I describe a full range of emotions and thoughts that I had during my psychotic state and the events surrounding them. These include the onset of my illness, my involuntary hospitalization, my stay at a mood disorder clinic, my return to work, discharge from work due to my condition and my eventual recovery in the epilogue. While these are the backdrops, the book mostly focuses on the fantastic new realities created by my ill mind that was full of grandiose and paranoid delusions. Have you ever used telepathy to brainwash the entire planet? Have you ever bartered people's souls away to the Devil? Have you created and then resolved the apocalypse as the dark Jesus? And did you partner with Bill Gates for global domination through time travel and mind control? Well, I have in my delusions and these are some of the experiences I share with the reader. It is often sad and disturbing, yet also light-hearted and funny. Each chapter is a story of a major persona I had and its complimentary narrative, yet these chapters flow from one to the next to form a cohesive collective of my overall psychosis journey. So, my friends, please do enjoy as you experience one of the most intimate aspects of my life! All I hope is that it broadens your horizon and gives a fresh understanding of what it can truly be like to have a brush with severe mental illness.