Apocalypse How?

I never thought I'd have a bounty on my head the size of the Milky Way.
Of course, I never thought I'd be able to bend time, either.
But hey, life is full of surprises.
Don't get me wrong, feeling like a goddess has its perks, but those perks come with a hefty price. My brain is tapioca. I'm stranded in the middle of dead space. Ratters are using me for target practice, and a giant, cybernetic monster named Oscar is trying to make me his chew toy.
All this because I played superhero (or thief, according to some) and snatched a doomsday device from an intergalactic mobster.
So if I don't make it out of here alive, remember this:
Above all else, I want a Viking funeral.