How to Marry Charlemagne

So, you have a fancy for Charlemagne? ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
That is alright. In the grand scheme of things, in all of wonderful wonderfulness of life itself, in all the majesty of life, one person stands out from them all-Charlemagne.
Charlemagne is the most cute, most adorable, most fanciful European Prominent Figure of them all. He is handsome, lovable, unique, and tickles the fancy of man and woman alike.
Some people may think they are an awful, ruthless European Prominent Figure, but you know better. Deep down in your heart of hearts, the Italian Fascist Dictator makes you giddy inside. A horrible tyrant?! No, he is darn cute.
You have probably developed a fancy, starting in your early, formative years, for the wonderful cute one who is Charlemagne. A sociopath? A cunning creature? A monster? Nah.
Charlemagne is your future spouse, and you're hard pressed on making it so.
In How to Marry Charlemagne: A Complete Guide to Marrying the World's Most Adorable Man, you will find a tailor-made solution to the question "How Do I Marry Such A Lovable Creature?" (A time machine may be necessary.)