The Daddy

You've seen the rest, now meet the best: The Daddy, the ultimate in bad Dad joke books!
Packed with 100s of terrible gags and truly awful puns, The Daddy comes with its own dedication page, enabling you to pen an extra special message for that extra special person in your life - your Dad!
Go on, I dare you: treat the old man to a copy, then skedaddle to a dark room somewhere while he works his magic, teasing and tormenting as only a Dad can. As it says on the guarantee, he'll love it - you'll hate it! No wonder with jokes like these:
I've started work as a waiter. Granted, the money's not fantastic; but at least I can put food on the table...
My fear of horse chestnut trees. After years of therapy, I've finally managed to conker it.
I took my PC back to the shop when it wouldn't stop swearing at me. I said, I think it might be the curser...
So I said, doctor, doctor, every time I go for a number two, it comes out looking like chips. He said, have you tried pulling that string vest up a bit?
I asked this bloke what his American Pit Bull puppies were going for. He said, anything they can get their teeth into...
Delivery driver walks into the medical centre and slams a dozen pizzas on the counter. He says, before anyone asks, it's just what the doctor ordered.
This bloke emptied a packet of grated cheese over my head. I said, that was mature, wasn't it...?
I rang the gaffer. I said, I'm just arriving on the south coast now, boss. He said, do you realise it's five in the morning? And what are you doing on the south coast? I said, just what you said, boss: making sure I was in Brighton early.
I said, I can't believe how much weight I've put on. I might have one of those over active, erm, erm...She said, thyroid gland? I said, no, knife and fork!
My pet mouse, Elvis...he was caught in a trap.